Please Look After Mom by Kyung-Sook, Shin

Please Look After Mom 

An international sensation and a bestseller that has sold over 1.5 million copies author's Korea, Please Look After Mom is a stunning, deeply moving story of a family's search for their missing mother - and their discovery of the desires, heartaches and secrets they never realized she harbored within.

When sixty-nine year old So-nyo is separated from her husband among the crowds of the Seoul subway station, and vanishes, their children are consumed with loud recriminations, and are awash in sorrow and guilt. As they argue over the "Missing" flyers they are posting throughout the city - how large of a reward to offer, the best way to phrase the text - they realize that none of them have a recent photograph of Mom. Soon a larger question emerges: do they really know the woman they called Mom?

Told by the alternating voices of Mom's daughter, son, her husband and, in the shattering conclusion, by Mom herself, the novel pieces together, Rashomon-style, a life that appears ordinary but is anything but.

This is a mystery of one mother that reveals itself to be the mystery of all our mothers: about her triumphs and disappointments and about who she is on her own terms, separate from who she is to her family. If you have ever been a daughter, a son, a husband or a mother, Please Look After Mom is a revelation - one that will bring tears to your eyes

****

Book ID:

Title: Please Look After Mom

Author: Shin Kyung Sook

Original Language: Korean

Year Published: 2011

Genre: Fiction, Asian

I started reading this book last weekend and slowly read it every night. It is because the theme that I am afraid the most (tearjerker) and last night I was halfway to finish then heard the news that my colleague passed away because of Covid-19. I was crying and continuing to read this book. In the morning, I ended up having a headache because of too much crying.

I purchased this book in the first week I arrived in South Korea. It was almost 3 years ago. I want to learn about Korean Literature since, in my home country, it is not as popular as Japanese literature. But reading the blurbs,  I keep delaying to read.

So after 9 months I haven't met my mom, I read it and it was a bad decision. I cry like a baby.

Looking at the title, you already know about the storyline. A Mother of 5 children is missing amid bustling traffic at Seoul Station. Mother and Father supposedly visit their last children's home in Seoul and usually, the children picked them up at Seoul Station but the Father calling that they can do it by themselves. 

So arrive from Cheongup (I assume Jeongup at Jeolla Province) at Seoul Station by intercity train (KTX or mugunghwa), they need to change moda to subway to reach their children home. But along the way, the Father gets in the train by himself and separated from her mother. You know in rush hour, the subway can be crowded and a lot of inpatient person try to get in and get out, that may be to rationalize how they can be separated in the nick of time (later the chronology also describe it by the Father).

Realizing his wife missing, Father gets off at the next station and comes back to fetch Mother, unfortunately, she's seen nowhere.

Then the first story narrated by the eldest daughter (no.3 or 4, I forgot and not pay attention), she's an acclaimed writer, single and has a strong characteristic. She and her siblings decide to make a pamphlet to be distributed around Seoul Station to find her mother.

While preparing this and that, her mind stumbles into countless memories about her mother. Her strong and sick mother that always nag to call her. There are a lot of memories that made her guilty to not listen to her mother more. Realizing the subtle hint or event about her mother's sickness.

The story is divided into 4 parts. The first is from the eldest daughter, the second is from the firstborn, the third is from the Father and the last is from the mother.  All part juggling with the present and the past, connecting the dot why Mother behaves like that and how can she is missing. The last part is revealing the deepest secret that all families have at a certain point in life.

The author uses the second-person point of view, which is a bold move and confusing altogether. I don't remember ever read the second person POV. As result, the transition per chapter is hard to understand because of the POV shifting. I even need time especially in the fourth part because there is first person, second person, and third-person altogether in one chapter.

The writing is not very beautiful prose but it is so vivid especially about Korean culture, the mother's mind, and setting description. I don't have any difficulty to understand the Korean culture that I think so much in this book, but I am not sure the other reader that new to Korean culture. 

Most of all, the story is relatable somehow. Being an Asian, I think we all agree that Mother is the strongest woman on earth. As a child we rely too much on our Mother, thinking that she is an almighty provider who has no limit of power and love. 

Though the Mother describes in here is insanely independent and strong, marrying quite an unresponsible man, raising 4 kids (one child is stillborn), serving the man's family, caring, loved by everyone, and poor. How can such a wonderful woman like that survive? Don't be surprised, here in Asian, you can see it a lot of women like that, more or less.

I really love how she can show love individually to her children (although the second brother is not mentioned at all).  How she loves the firstborn, a brother, a fine example of his sibling. The first brother experienced the hardest phase of the family, thru poverty and providing for other siblings. 

The eldest daughter is a strong head. The Mother and daughter argued a lot, but eventually, her love for her daughter is understandable and tear your heart into pieces.

The youngest daughter is the lucky one. She has grown up in a better economy, the mother can provide a lot to her and made her kind, soft, and very smart. She's the one in the family that graduated from a prestigious university, but end up living like the mother. A mother with three small children abandoned her dream and even have no time to look for the missing mother. All she can do is crying and crying for her helplessness.

I think it is crystal clear that the author's strongest writing is from characterization. But I don't know why maybe it is because I'm not too familiar with the POV, I feel the same voice when reading the book no matter whose part. I feel like cannot move on from the eldest daughter POV.

There is a lot of passage that stab you in the heart because it also makes you guilty to do the same thing:

"Habit can be a frightening thing. You spoke politely with others, but your words turned sullen toward your wife. Sometime you eve cursed at her. You acted as if it had been decreed that you couldn't speak politely to your wife. That's what you did."p-140.

It is 4.5 stars, i hold 0.5 because confusing POV! I realky recommend it for sad story lover.